28 years I have been cooking turkeys.
Then The Engineer took over with a deep fat fryer.
Being a woman with a reputation to keep
I started making a pre-turkey so I would have drippings and broth.
This year I got a bit....lax.
I bought a casserole instead of a roasting
pan. Big mistake. Also didn't buy the turkey enough
ahead to thaw properly so the thing went in partially
frozen. Put in lots of liquid to make sure I have enough drippings.
You guessed it. Another mistake.
Tried to pull it out when it was done and the foil collapsed.
Broth spilling like a waterfall into the bottom of the oven.
Smoke roiling out of the oven. Smoke alarm shrieking. Open
all the windows. The Engineer brought a fan up from the garage. We
opened the front door (BIG mistake). Got the DAMN turkey
out and attempted to take its damn temperature. Battery
out on the food thermometer. Juices run out when we move
it to a platter - pink. Shoved the turkey back in the oven.
We're going to burn that sucker. Now.... WHERE ARE THE
Out the front door of course.
MASS PANIC. Grab leashes, cookies, dog whistle, chains,
run out in socks and found them cavorting around some
poor man and his dog (who was on a leash and behaving
himself). Thank Gawd, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am never making another pre-turkey again.The Engineer
can deep fry them and I'm using canned broth and olive
oil and butter and I bet nobody can tell the difference in the stuffing
and the gravy. It is like all the turkeys I've cooked over the
prior years are getting revenge upon me.